She Wanted to Say is a space created for conversations on faith and culture. In the last several years I’ve been experiencing an awkward disconnect between what culture is telling me the Bible says about things, and what it actually seems to say when I read it. This disconnect has left me in turns confused, frustrated, and angry. I’m writing this in August of 2020, eight months into the global pandemic which changed my life completely, and three months prior to the presidential election in America which seems to be tearing my family and friends apart.
A really good friend of mine says who we are in crisis is who we really are. What I’ve noticed in this season of crisis is a lot of ugliness surrounding matters of faith. If this is who we are, is it honestly who we want to be? As we struggle to cope in these trying times, our systems of belief are put to the test. Things we thought would always be able to count on are suddenly gone, perhaps never to return. Expressing doubt or asking honest questions can cause an avalanche of name-calling and unfriending, which leads us to only engage within the echo chamber of our own experiences. And sometimes not saying anything at all can do the same thing, as I found out recently!
Instead of running quietly away from the ugliness, here I am stepping right into the middle of it. Publicly.
My curiosity about whether faith and modern culture are even compatible just won’t go away. Depending on the news or my Facebook feed, I swing between ‘oh heck no it’s hopeless’ and ‘it’s not like the people in the Bible had it any easier and yet they somehow made it work so yeah, maybe’. So instead of vacillating back and forth, I decided to really explore how the two can share the same space.
So first there’s faith. Peter Pan tells us all we need to fly is a little faith, trust, and Pixie Dust. The dictionary tells us faith is firm belief in something for which there is no proof, or complete trust in something or someone. It’s also the strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof. The Bible says faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
And then, culture. As a noun, culture is defined as the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society. Culture also describes the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively. As a verb, it means maintaining something (like tissue cells or bacteria) in conditions suitable for growth.
Just scrolling headlines tells me we are currently in conditions suitable for growth of some sort… it is clear none of us are getting out of this season exactly the same as we entered! I already look back at the Heather who entered 2020 so grateful that the relentless personal misery of 2019 was finally over, and I just want to hug her and say, “Oh sweet girl, I love you, but you know nothing.” So what if we can use this time to actually culture our faith?
I grew up in America a block away from a synagogue, attending a Baptist church and observing Jewish holidays with the rest of the kids in my neighborhood. My Dad had an MDiv degree and theology was discussed at the dinner table the way other families might discuss sports – loudly, passionately, with lots of room for disagreement. My Mom’s grandmother survived the Holocaust in Germany, and I carry her strength and badassery within me, passed from mother to daughter.
In my teenage years, I went to the former USSR and discovered there was so much I didn’t know. About everything! I also realized much of what I’d been taught about faith in America didn’t easily apply to life in a single-party socialist republic under the rule of the Communist party. If you thought I questioned everything before my summer in Russia, you should have seen me after.
Shortly after I married, I left America once again. This time for Asia, a place I’ve called home for the greater part of the last twenty years. I’ve lived in four uniquely different Asian countries, with wildly varying cultures and different ways of expressing and embracing (or not embracing) faith. I’ve travelled to twenty other countries around the world to gain understanding and connection through engaging with local people, expatriates, immigrants, and political refugees. The more I discover, the greater my curiosity grows and the more I want to learn. And yet, 2020 has put a halt to further in-person exploration. It’s time to get all this accumulated knowledge out of my head, and maybe into someone else’s.
I’d love for you to engage in the conversation. But please know I expect kindness in this space. Toward me, toward others, toward yourself. The world is ugly enough without adding more to the pile. I’ll likely share things which make you uncomfortable. I know I’ll be sharing things that make me uncomfortable! Discomfort is different from an attack, and being comfortable doesn’t help us learn and grow. The God I know and will talk about here in this space is big and strong, fully able to take any and all questions, doubt, and incredulity. I am not God. Which is good, because I have so many questions, so much doubt, and incredulity is my natural state.
If you want to know more about what you can expect at She Wanted to Say, please check out this post. Let’s grow into something greater and more glorious together. I’m glad you’re here!
Be strong and courageous,
